Sending out the old and ringing in the new

As the New Year quickly approaches I am left with multiple thoughts that race through my head:

Resolutions -

• Last year I was aiming at refraining from using the words ain't and hain't. Didn't do so good at that...getting back on the wagon in the new year.


• I want to stop using fowl language as often as I do...didn't do so good at that last year either - if anything, somehow I think it got a bit worse...back to the drawing board on that, too!


• Getting more organized...again, I have worked hard at that this year, but it is still in need of repair...so I have my work cut out for me.

Memories -

• I can't help but think of the family of the 13 year old girl in SC (and all of the others as well) who lost thier daughter to suicide associated with bullying just a few months ago. My heart goes out to them during this holiday season. As a parent, I was planning my childrens' Christmas gifts months ago. I cannot imagine not having one of them to buy for after all of the mental planning and images of thrilled faces in my mind, as well as all the memories of wonderful times and the joy they bring to me.


• My heart also goes out to friends who lost their husband/father to a motorcycle accident this past Spring. Skeeter will be greatly missed this Christmas I am sure. I can imagine how this young familiy's norms and traditions have been broken by his absence. I wish them peace and the ability to think of all the wonderful memories they had the opportunity to make before he was killed.


• I recall a recent conversation with my brother - best friend - who confided he had almost been killed on his own bike a few weeks ago...a very close call with the best possible outcome that could have left me an only child...I am more gratefull than ever this year that we will celebrate Christmas together another year and we are healthy and free of injuries that could have altered our lives forever.

Furture plans:

• In addition to resolutions 2012 will be the year of sight for me. After 27 years of glasses and contacts and living legally blind, I will have lasic eye surgery to restore my vision on Jan. 12th! I am so excited I can hardly stand it.


• Additionally, in combination with school I will embark on some freelance work that will also hopefully lead to some published work and I will partner with my brother in a private business of trade that will hopefully bring in some additional cash flow!

In conclusion - we all reflect and aspire...but when we write it down we remember it and work harder at it, I believe. So, happy writing and may the holidays and New Year bless you with greatness!

BE WELL ~

The Oldest is IN like Flyn!!!

Yay! The oldest was given the needed diagnosis of Asperger Disorder. I know you are probably thinking I am crazy for saying Yay!, but if you had walked in my shoes you would understand this is actually a validation for all of the hell we have been through.

So, we now have him enrolled in the Asperger Connection School and he will be starting soon! Stay tuned for more info...but I can tell you, Temple Grandin will be visiting the school to meet all of the students there in the near future!!! OMG! How exciting!!!!

Silly Girl....call me...this would be a great opportunity for you to do a story and meet Temple Grandin! Google her!

Interesting things happening

Some interesting things have been happening lately. Time is flying, too.

A few months back my step-son was tested for Asperger Disorder and the diagnosis was finally placed as I had long expected. Shortly thereafter, an article in the local paper alerted all to the coming Asperger Connection School, the only one of its kind, coming to an area very near to us. We immediately made an appt., processed an application for him, and started searching for scholarship money to help pay the 3K per year tuition. While we were there, I noted to the founder that I suspected my oldest with bipolar may also have Asperger. It has been mentioned several times by various professionals, but I had never had him tested. When I learned about all the great things this school could provide, I decided to have him tested, too. Shortly after that, I learned all of the 9th grade spots (the grade the oldest will be going into) had already been filled. The entire school had a limited number of 40 slots they could initially fill for grades k-10. Even though this was discouraging, I decided to continue with the scheduled testing, hoping some door may open. After all, we had applied for the local engineering school for him at the end of last year and are still waiting to hear back on if he will get into there. So, we had the testing done. I get the results on Mon. evening. I am getting nervous because school is drawing near, so I called the founder of the Asperger school to get advice. I do not want to send the oldest to the local high school. I hold great fears in that area. While talking to the founder I learned a student had withdrawn from the school. that student just so happened to be a 9th grader. That frees a spot for the oldest to get in there! He is not too excited about it, but I am and he will be once he sees what there is to see there and learns the difference in the way he will be treated there. I just pray the diagnosis we are needing comes to us Monday. Then there will be a rush to get the needed applications processed and the funding together for him. We learned last week that step-son has received a full scholarship for the school! I will update you soon!

The trip to the mountains and upcoming commencement

Well, boy I tell ya, that was one heck of a trip Hubby and I took up the NC mountains.

We ate some really great food, had a grand time touring the Biltmore Estate, and then climbed a really big mountain. We stayed in The Littlelest Cabin in the Great Big Woods on the top of Rich Mountain. And I mean it was at the top. The lady we rented the little cabin from told me it was a steep climb and she wasn't lying. The trip up was four miles of winding climb. Two miles were paved and the other two were gravel and more hairy. She met us where the pavement ended and we followed her up. My little Kia Soul was struggling and then she quickly rounded this turn on the side of the mountain and shot up left on her VERY STEEP driveway to her home and the cabin. She was going so fast I shot right passed her drive. I stopped quickly when I realized what I had done and backed up to go behind her. First mistake, I missed her drive on the first shot with momentum. Second mistake, I thought I could go up without a running start. Third mistake, I actually tried it! OMG! We made it a bit over half way and the car stopped and the tires began to spin. There we were hanging on the side of the mountain and the car wouldn't go any further. I knew based on the drive up, if I proceeded backwards down too quickly, I could easily lose control, ending with a skid off of the side of the mountain. I was scared as hell and so was Hubby! So I let up on the gas, pressed in the clutch and proceeded to roll backwards. I was pressing the brake to slow us down, but the brakes were out!!!! I almost became histerical. Hubby was histerical. I was trying to steer backwards to not hit any trees, so I didn't have an extra hand to grab the emergency brake, or my hands were froze to the wheel. Not sure which, but I did muster to yell at Hubby to pull the emergency brake. He almost yanked it slam out of the car he pulled it so hard, but we did come to a stot at least. After a few minutes, we lowered the emergency brake. Thank goodness the regular brakes had somehome regained their power and we slowly backed down. I parked at the foot of the drive and walked up to the cabin instead. We joke now about the almost failed trip on Rich Mountain, but it wasn't funny at the time. Overall, we had a great trip. It was a nice time, just the two of us. Our bank account is suffering now as a result though. Penny pinching the rest of the month! :(

Tomorrow I will be honored for graduating with a GPA of 3.93! My university is holding an Honors Breakfast at the local campus near where Brother lives. I will travel tonight to his house and stay with him and the new live in boyfriend! Yep...that's another story. Sweet...I believe I have mentioned him a few times before sometime back. My brother will attend the event with me tomorrow morning.

Next Sat. is Commencement. Though I have been holding my degree since the middle of May, I can hardly wait to walk across that stage. That really sorta seals the deal. Good friend of mine is coming to town this weekend to take my cap and gown pictures. I am excited to see her and have the pics to send out a few announcements and a couple of thank you notes for a few grad gifts I have already received.

I am already preparing for classes in the Bachelor program that begin next month. I took a workshop last week and am enrolled in another this week. I am enjoying my break, but looking forward to starting back.

One more trip left to go...the water is calling my name now! Come on Aug. I can hardly wait.

Vacations

Well...I have one vacation down and two more to go.

The yearly trip to Ohio was a complete disaster for me emotionally.

To give my ex-mother-in-law (EMIL) and ex-father-in-law (EFIL) (the outlaws I call them) credit, the time I spent with them was good; other than the fact that I am supposed to be out of school on break between degrees and the EMIL convinced me to help her write a chapter of a book for publication she needed to sumit on a deadline while I was there, that part wasn't so bad. The food was great, the talk was nice, and the space was good. When we are there, the boys act like they are at least five years older than they are and are allowed to have a bit more freedom because the surroundings and environment in the community is much different than at home. Beer and beer talk was good with the EFIL and the EMIL congratulated me on my graduation with new earrings, a new bag, and a Kindle with cover and gift card!!! The latter she ordered and had shipped to my house. It was awaiting me when I arrived home. I really do love her, though we don't always see eye to eye!

What bothered me more than anything was the fact that I had planned this trip for six months and I expected everyone to be present and happy to see me. Unfortunately, the boys' great aunt (the EMIL's twin sister, whom I am pretty close to) decided to take off the day after I arrived for the Bahama's on a cruise. I later learned her travel partner was my ex-husband's wife (the woman he left me for). This really hurt my feelings. Not that they were traveling together, but that she decided to take this trip while I was there on my once a year visit, with the ex's wife, while I was tending to the ex's wife's kid. Yep....I had been gracious enough to bring him along on the trip to visit with the boys. So convenient for the bitch. Sorry, but that's how I feel. At any rate, I still can't help but to wonder why the great aunt couldn't have planned the trip at a different time. Did she not want to see me? As well, I have grown tired of the ex's wife taking things from me. First it was my husband and the father of my children. Then beginning last year it was the addition of her kid to my travels and time with my children and visit with this part of their family that I do care deeply for. Then to top the cake, this year while I have her child getting him safely to his destination with us, she takes part of my welcoming party away from me as well. I have decided this is a chapter of my life I need to put behind me and close. I do not plan to make this trip next year. I will simply say if they want to see the boys they will need to make arrangements to either make the drive to get them or buy them some plane tickets. As well, I will note here, the combined actions of all leave me believing that the son of the ex's wife is also the son of the ex. If that is true, she had my ex before he ever left, which leaves only more and more lies in the mix of it all. A shame really. After all, the more I look at this kid, the more he looks like my children's father. More so than either of my boys. And, wasn't it very timely that this kid just began to take summer vacations with my boys to their bio grandparent's in OH two months after his birth certificate daddy died? I say, End of a Decade!

Next trip starts tomorrow. My hubby and I will travel west to the mountains and enjoy the sights and sounds as a tribute to our 5th wedding anniversary. Like all of my planned trips, I am looking forward to this one. While away from hubby in OH, I really missed him and the comfort he brings me. It's funny how a little time away from someone will definitely recharge the batteries of attraction to one another. I can hardly wait to get away with him. Just us. I just pray my anticipation is not spoiled as in all past trips. If it is, going forward I may just have to vacation alone to some unknown paradise of my own. I am in real need of a solid break from life and some enjoyment!

The last trip is over my birthday. This one will be a beach trip with the step-son. I will leave it at that. I will elaborate more at a later time.

Wish me luck on it all!

I must stop doing this to myself.....it is absolute torment

Well, I am on my yearly trip to Ohio with the boys to see the ex-in-laws. Each year we come to visit, since we moved back to NC and their dad and I seperated. I think this year will be my last trip here. I don't think I can take it anymore. Every year I set myself up for a wonderful trip to only have my heart ripped up again. It just isn't worth it. I am ready to go home. I will be glad when this day is over. More later.

Why do I keep doing this to myself???

More to come!